July 4th, 2006

headwound

Dear Alice:

Thanks for the reminder...
I love that mountain with those four big heads.
I love Velveeta slapped on Wonder Bread.
I love a commie, if'n he's good and dead, yep!
(I love America)

I love Old Glory and homemade pie.
I think them Ruskies should be sterilized.
I love my chicken Kentucky Fried --
Finger Lickin' Good!
(I love America)

"Hey there! This is A.B. Cooper from Cooper's Carnival of Clean and Classic Cars. It's our Fourth of July -- [fireworks/automatic weapon fire] -- sale here at Cooper's Carnival of Clean and Classic Cars at the corner of Collins and Commerce. I've got lot full of the finest funny looking cars money can buy at prices even you can afford. So come on down and say hello to me and granny, and bring the kids to meet my snake. I say, 'bye;' Granny says, 'bye;' and the snake says, 'sssssssssss.'"
I love General Patton in World War II.
My Pocket Fisherman and my Crazy Glue.
I love the Beav' and Wally too, yeah!
(I love America)

I love the bomb, hot dogs and mustard.
I love my girl, but I sure don't trust her.
I love what the Indians did to Custer.
(I love America)

Here they come! --
[horses trample, indians whoop, cavalry sounds] --
There they go!

I love my jeans and I love my hair.
I love a real tight skirt and a real nice pair.
And, on the fourth of July, I love the rockets' red glare.
(I love America)

I watch the A-Team every Tuesday night.
I gradjiated, but I ain't too bright.
I love Detroit 'cause I was born to fight.
(I love America)

I love the Tigers but I hate the Mets.
I ride my Hog but I race my Vette.
I gotta job, but, hell, I'm still in debt.
(I love America)

I love my bar and I love my truck.
I'd do most anything to make a buck.
I love a waitress who loves to... flirt!
They're the best kind!
(I love America)

Turn me on!
Well, gotta go now.
(I love America)

Bye Bye! I tell you what though, I really do love it.
You ain't going to catch me at no May Day rally.


--

"I Love America"
Alice Cooper


And don't forget to go read this.