Ramblings of a Desiccated Mind

Welcome to someone's idea of a good time.

(a deleted reply I got on one of my LJ posts)

critique

i doubt you'll post this to your livejournal, because you can't stand critiques, but here you go...
go to: hotmail.com
Email: deadscrypt1@hotmail.com
Password: (ed: omitted)
i really don't get why your writing hasn't improved one whit, you make the same kinds of mistakes you did when you were twenty, and you're almost freaking forty now...

Well, my friend, as I wasn't writing anything even close to what I was taking seriously when I was twenty, but, rather, reeling from the repercussions of a privileged, drug-addled youth and parents that subscribed to Nancy Reagan's brilliant drug policies, this is neither here nor there. I've only been taking the craft "seriously" for about ten years, and three of those were spent trying to get a clue ... as well as watching a woman I thought I loved spiral into a Hell of her own that involved an unwanted pregnancy by a serious drug addict (she looked a little like Nicole Ritchie, how gay is that? -- come to think of it, she was just as mean, too). I lost six years of my life to that, and if I hadn't come back to my "writing" I may well have done you the greatest of all favors, and killed myself then. But, lucky for both of us, I am still here.

So, all in all, I've really only been at this for about five years ... I always was a late bloomer.

The publications I am published in, few that they are, are all legitimate books, and I have stopped submitting to Internet markets because I feel like if it isn't on paper, then it isn't published.

And you're right, I'm not going to let people go read your bilious rant ... er, critique against my "amateur" piece that I started for this journal.

But ... I will give some of the highlights.

And maybe I'm not smart enough to leave well-enough alone, but, Lord knows, I'm not willing to go out there and create a Hotmail account just to berate someone I unjustifiably hate -- you're not a Muslim, are you?

Whoops ... there goes my "racism."

Actually, I'm not a racist, but if you're devoting a life to the tenets of some bass-ackwards religion formed in the dust 1600 or more years ago then ... well, I don't want you alive. And this goes for religious nuts of all faiths. Fuck you, fuck your gods, fuck your righteousness.

While I'm at it, fuck the Republican party for having no goddamn vision.

Honestly, my friend, you need psychiatric counseling to deal with this obsession.

To boot, as soon as someone goes to the "You wanna lick cum" side of things, you expose your homophobia. As I said recently, if I wanted to suck dick, I would suck dick. Homophobes are THE WORST kind of haters, as flesh is just flesh, and should be enjoyed (responsibly) by everyone. I'm not "straight" because I think two men together are disgusting, I'm straight because a woman's curves turn me on. So, whatever you like, be it. Just don't be a narrow-minded asshole.

Let me add that I totally support Gay Marriage. It's good both sociologically and economically, and anyone opposed to it is not only a fear-dominated troglodyte, but a traitor. Yeah, I said it. Gay Marriage is about the peak of all non-issues ever heralded during a campaign year, and I'm mystified that people are still capable of thinking this way in what is supposed to be the most progressive nation in the world at the dawn of the twenty-first century ... and, to boot, I want my leather-stud husband to fuck me up the ass while I wear a saddle and suck off some blonde boy-slut that we pick up in a public park.

You know? That doesn't sound like the worst waste of time. Horrors! Maybe I am queer! I better start doing some throat exercises.

Which reminds me ... our resident genius thinks that my reference to Asian escorts in the story is some sort of repressed racism on my part -- (And btw, why ASIAN escorts…your racism is showing.) -- This could not be further from the truth, as I think Asian women are the sexiest in the world, and I am a long-time fan of Asian cinema. Go, go Godzilla!

Ask your friends or parents what they think about your obsession with me.

So, on with the show (from the e-mail self-sent to the above bogus account created solely for getting my attention -- well done, playah):

re: To See if I Still Feel 1st paragraph -- (never been tried before in a book, and NEVER with adolescent girls, nope, never—NEVER.  Why not do something different, like cutting strips of skin, thin, almost superficial streaks of skin that he chews and savors.  Stop being so banal.  Switching genders here doesn’t work.  And that theme again, you like eating your own cum?  Are you afraid of eating someone else’s?  You know you wanna…everyone knows you wanna…)

I might have been able to read this "critique" seriously if you weren't here to make it personal, but ... you are, so you completely invalidate yourself as an opinion worth acknowledging. A professional critic would have been polite, and would have totally focused on the work at hand, rather than trying to just annoy the author. On top of that, a professional editor would never waste this much time dissecting a story, but, rather, would simply employ a form letter saying "Thank you for submitting, but this is not what we're looking for."

At the end of this vile, wasted rant, he goes on to wag his finger at me for so shamelessly stealing from Stephen King ("Survivor Type,"</i> from Skeleton Crew, and, I imagine, "I Am the Doorway" [I think is the title, the one about the guy who grows an alien eye on his hand] from Night Shift). I will add that not only did I steal from Stephen King, but also from David Cronenberg.

You know what? I was going to go much further on this, but I think the above sampling is more than enough to acknowledge the presence of a troll. You don't like me, my writing, and you profess to know me on some level, but you cower in the shadows like some sort of frightened child. If you want to have some sort of real discussion, you're going to have to drop the bile then deal with me as a man (or woman) with a face.

Until you decide to do that, and tell me exactly who you are and why I should care about your precious time spent in trying to make me feel worse about myself by taking pot-shots at what you perceive to be my life and my oh-so-important lack of talent, research ability, or general technical skill ... until then you do not exist.

Life's too short for you, man -- if you don't like what you're reading, then turn the fucking channel. But this? That you're doing? Coming back after I've been off my LJ for the better part of a year with the same old song? I admit that I have no life, but you really need to go and get one. Go get yourself a girlfriend, lay with her, then beat the fucking snot out of her because you can't stop thinking about me, k hon? Thanks, bye.

This is more than enough time to waste on the anonymous.