WARNING: There will be relative spoilers in this review, so don’t read it if you don’t want to know anything.
This is one of those “bad idea from the get-go” situations.
Unfortunately, there’s a lot to like about this movie: it’s beautifully shot, R. Lee Ermy puts in for one of the better “creepy characters” I’ve seen in a while, and Jessica Biel’s tits look great covered in mud.
But there’re larger problems at hand.
The movie has a strong start. The news footage that opens the film does a good job of setting the tone. However, this device comes back again at the end in a very Blair Witch sort of finale which, frankly, the movie just doesn’t need. And that’s the root of this film’s problems. It’s a remake of a genuine genre classic that goes on to mimic the standard set by far lesser films that are trying to live up to the legacy of TCM’s original production to begin with. It is the Ouroboros.
The reinterpretation of the hitchhiking scene I also approve of verily. It was genuinely creepy. The performances are all pretty solid, and there’s a genuinely disturbing air about the film right up until about the halfway point. Leatherface’s first appearance is shocking, and Andrew Bryniarski is a huge and lumbering presence behind the apron.
After that point, however, it becomes the usual teens-in-jeopardy sort of cliché. Considering that Tobe Hooper’s original film defined this standard, it’s a shame that the producers of this film saw no reason to try to reach out of the box. The reinterpretation of the meat-hook scene from the original is so stupid here it makes my head hurt just thinking about it.
It is a great looking movie though, so if you’re all style and no substance than I could think of money that is spent worse. Not much worse, to be sure, but it was a well-made movie. Production value is not lacking here.
As usual with the modern horror film, the problem is the script.
We do not need to feel bad for Leatherface. He is not a sympathetic character. There was no reason whatsoever to push him in that direction. It’s contrived, it’s manipulative, and it breaks the viewer out of the tone of dread that should have permeated this movie from start to finish.
Instead, what we have here is an echo of far lesser films set to a soundtrack that is all saw and symphony, and little to no screaming. The soundtrack music itself is pretty unremarkable, which is a criminal act considering how unique and genuinely weird the soundtrack to the original film is. Set that clanging and shifting sound of metallic noises to the shrieks of the original heroine, and it’s a genuine cacophony, whereas here all we get is really loud noise.
I suppose I shouldn’t be trying to hold this movie up to the standard set by the original film, but didn’t the filmmakers set this delineation for themselves? If you’re going to approach the “reinterpretation” of older movies, the one thing you must keep intact is the tone of the source material. This one doesn’t even pretend to recognize Hooper’s film, but instead aims to echo movies like I Know What Your Boobs Did Last Summer and, most shamelessly, The Blair Witch Project. I know I keep bringing that up, but you’ll see what I mean.
And it would be one thing if the original film totally sucked, but it doesn’t. It’s a genuine exercise in antagonizing the viewer, whereas this film’s script seems intent on things like character development for at least one character that you shouldn’t be feeling any sympathy for. I mean . . . why do we have to know that Leatherface is known as “Tommy” around the house? -– “Tommy can you smell me . . . Tommy can you Smell me . . . . “
Anyhow, the point is this; don’t fuck with the source material if you’re just going to fuck it up. I can’t see how anyone looked at the last half of this script and said, “Yeah! Awesome! This is sooooo original, what a brilliant take on the TCM Mythos!” They took the source material and, as usual, dumbed it down. I would have preferred something more culty. Why not really exploit the cannibalism instead of just making it a background element?
You know, now that I think about it, they’re more like leather-smiths and sausage makers than cannibals. The cannibalism is truly implied here, and the only time you see human flesh in another’s hands is when Tommy’s making his masks. Why not exploit the cannibal mythos? Eating to absorb one’s essence? Eating to gain knowledge? I don’t know, but it seemed pretty light on that point to me.
I remember coming out of that stupid movie the Bone Collector thinking, “is it too much to ask that he collect a single bone?” I think I share the same sort of sentiment here. “Is it too much to ask that the crazy cannibal clan actually take the time to eat someone?”
My biggest griping point, however, is this: shock-cuts. Overused, cheap, never scary, and there are no less than seven inserted into this remake of a film that doesn’t use this lame-duck device even once. TCM 2k3 pulls the final rip-cord on diversionary shock cuts, so screenwriters take note: you are no longer allowed to put a cat, possum, wolverine, wild gerbil behind the closed door of a cupboard, locker, closet, or shoebox unless that creature is the star of your film.
So that’s the long and the short of it pretty much. Is it a terrible movie? Not really. It’s stylishly shot, it moves along at a nice clip, is pretty edgy in regard to visuals, but the script makes some truly grotesque missteps, and not in a good way. Would I recommend it? Not really. I’d say see the original again and wait for the DVD.
In closing, a decent romp that you’ve seen before.
3 out of 5.
