I'm losing one of my rides. That's beat. I'm glad for that one's change in circumstance. He's a hard worker and deserves the new opportunity. He just went from having a job to having a career.
That happened for me last year. For about six weeks I thought I was going to be doing something that would have changed my life and the lives of those around me for the better. They even hired me for ten hours. Man, I don't like this story because blame falls on so many shoulders, but mainly mine because I didn't fall to my knees for my GM when I was first hired. I was chronically 3 to 8 minutes late. I punch a clock, so really didn't see what the big fucking deal was. My GM really didn't like it though, and proved his point by firing me on my third occassion of being twenty minutes late his first day back from vacation. Rain and traffic did not impress his perspective and there opened the gallows.
I never got fair warning. Not that I should have, but I wasn't some slacker. I'm not that guy who sits on his hands at work, but in a gig like this, I needed a bit of direction.
Bah, I don't like where this is going. Yeah, I fucked up, but the same guy who fired me re-hired me, and I've been a fucking machine ever since. That gig on the corporate side was given to someone with a history with the company. I'm not saying I deserved it over him, though I was more qualified.
But I would have liked a chance to fuck it up on my own.
Whatever. I have something better now. Hopelessness. And the bar of my ambition has Bern set so low, my dream is of subsistance.
Not a bad goal, and it's concrete. I know exactly what the parameters are.
I just wish the one good thing that ever dropped in my lap ... I wish I could have kept that.
Not that I haven't had or siezed opportunities, but this one came with a pay check, would have had me out of debt in a year, would have had my student loan under control ... so much good.
I hope he hasn't wasted that opportunity.
